The Real Story
My Story
"Welcome to C-Span. Today we're going to discuss the newly passed Health Care Reform bill that was signed into law recently by President Obama. First up is Larry Decader of the Health Care For All foundation. So Larry, how do you feel about the new bill?"
"Well, I think it's a great day for America. Presidents as far back as Teddy Roosevelt have tried to get congress to pass universal Health Care legislation to give everyone affordable health care and coverage. They all failed or came up short or were only able to pass small pieces of the big picture, like Medicare for the elderly or Medicaid for the extremely poor.
But many middle to low income Americans were marginalized, and in the spiraling costs of the past two decades, millions have had to go without health care insurance, and with it without health care leading to either bankruptcy or early death. And those that have it now find the premiums are becoming unaffordable, with all kind of limits and deductions and all sorts of common conditions not covered.
When people get sick and need their health care insurance the most, insurance companies are finding various ways to deny or drop coverage. This new health bill will stop most of those shenanigans. It won't solve all the problems, I'm especially disappointed there's no public option. But the rule changes alone are worth their weight in gold."
"Ok, thank-you. Now for a countering opinion, we have Earl Sedgwick of Tea Partiers of West Texas. So Earl, why were you so opposed to the new Health Care Bill?"
"God-damn piece of fucking socialist communist bullshit that is gonna destroy, ah said DESTROY America! That good fer-nuthin damn son-of-bitch who ain't even an American, I know he weren't born in no USA, no birth certificate or nuthin. And Hawaii weren't no US State when he were born so don't give me no bullshit 'bout he be 'Merican. And this socialist black scum, hell he ain't even full black, he be half white trash and the other half muslim towel head, he gonna sink my America, he gonna wreck it, he gonna steal my hard earned dollars to pay for this socialist bullshit. That's why I don't pay no taxes no more, ain't filled out a 1040 in two years since Dubya left. America is gonna crash and burn with this babykiller bill."
"I see. So you don't like it much. So Larry, Earl brings up a good point. What about the payment for abortion services that many people have objected to?"
"Well , President Obama was approached by members of his own party who were unhappy about that potential, and Barack Obama was willing to negotiate and compromise. He issued an Executive Order that the public funds obligated to this health care coverage could not be used for abortion. Many people ridiculed that an Executive Order is useless, that it doesn't trump federal law. But today, President Obama signed a second order, this time an Executive Finding which holds even more force, directing the Office of Management and Budget to clearly state in its interpretations of the law, which all government agencies follow, that no money is to be used to fund abortions. I think he has gone beyond any verbal agreement to ensure his compromise will hold."
"You god-damn lying faggot son-of-a-bitch! He just lying through his teeth that Muslim son-of-"
"Obama is not Muslim you idiot. He's a Baptist."
"Baptist, schmaptist! Ain't his middle name Hussein? Hussein bin Obama Laden if you ask me!"
"What the hell are you talking about you old coot? Hussein is his middle name. Big deal. What's your middle name?"
"Huh? Um, Javier. But that don' matter none. That's cause my daddy had a Mexicali gal he kept round the house to do the cooking and cleaning and cleaning out his whistle when the need be, all Texans have that, so don't you be minding it none. But Obama is nothing but a gay loving, men kissing men, don't ask cause I ain't gonna tell anyway, let all the faggots git married and molest our little boys son-of-bitch! He's gonna burn in hell fo this!"
"Where did you get this guy?"
"Yes, so Larry, many of the provisions don't take effect until 2014, and Republicans say they are going to do everything to block it, overturn it, get a Republican majority back in Congress and a Republican president next term and overturn it, and now many of the Attorneys General in many states have filed suit trying to block the bill claiming it will cause financial hardship on the states."
"Well, you'll notice it's all Republicans who have joined the suit, so it's clearly a Republican political maneuver."
"There was one Democrat."
"Yes, but he's from Louisiana, and he just wants more money. After Katrina, they have very little down there. Plus, President Obama studied constitutional law when he got his law degree, and even he can't believe the Republican Attorneys General are trying to say the Federal Government can't do this. It says in the Constitution that Federal law trumps state law, so it's a no brainer."
"I'll tell ya what's a no brainer. A no brainer is what I's gonna do to the first Democrat I see. I'm gonna bring along my Louisville slugger and bash his head in so fast, he's gonna wonder what hit him. I hate Democrats! I hate tea drinkin Liberal fags! I hate people trying to take away my rights like my Medicare! No Socialized medicine! No god-damn communist death panels!"
"You are such an idiot! What do you think Medicare is? It's a government run health care program. It's the very socialist type program you claim you despise."
"What? No! You lie! I can tell by your fancy suit and tie you is a liar! Liar, liar, pants on fire! Liah!"
"And the Health Insurance companies already are making decisions to not provide health insurance to people with catastrophic illnesses, denying kidney transplants and heart operations. They already are running death panels and this bill will stop them. Did you actually even read any of the Health Care bill?"
"I don't need to read nuthin. Glen Beck and Fox News have spoken the truth. They is like the word of the Bible. God bless Glen Beck! And may you die in hell fire you black loving cock sucking mother-fu-"
"OK! Well that's all for today's discussion on C-Span of the new Health Care Bill. Next up, the British Parliament has the weekly Questions to the Prime Minister session where we find out if the Conservative party can cook Gordon Brown's goose over the Iraq war revelations. Next, on C-Span."
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A little too realistic. Making my hair whiter as I type this.
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