Ruth Gluten walked up to the podium and began to read from a prepared statement to open the Press Conference.
"We would like to announce that the Washington Metropolitan Area Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Transgender or LGBT community has sent a letter to Mayor Adrian Fenty strongly condemning the recent announcement that the water quality issues at the Washington Sanitary Commission may have to do with the recent discovery of fish in the Potomac river that exhibit both male and female reproductive organs.
Members of the LGBT community have for far too long dealt with stereotyping and homophobic attitudes and now on the threshold of the second decade of the twenty-first century, such misconceptions that there is something "wrong" with transgender fish must be halted and condemned in the strongest language.
As victims of hate crimes for centuries, we in the LGBT community find that the new found tolerant attitudes to our gay, lesbian, and transgender members, hard fought for in the last several decades, must not be lost or compromised by suddenly allowing typecasting that our brethren species are in some way defective or not normal.
For many years fish have secretly hidden their feelings and desires for cross gender values, and now as they come out of the water closet is not the time to say there is something wrong with these fish. Blaming it on "something in the water" is disingenuous and does not lead to tolerance or acceptance in the greater community of this fair city, rivers and streams of our scaly little brothers and sisters.
We ask the mayor in the future to address these unique uni-sexual fish in a positive light, and not as freaks of nature or abnormal organisms that can be "fixed." Many people forget that along with the Jews, many LGBT members were exterminated during the Holocaust, and we must not allow a return to the hysterical hatred as being espoused by the Westboro Baptist Church and other hate groups.
Fish that are bisexual, unisexual, or transgender are natural creatures, with feelings and desires just as any heterosexual fish, and should be allowed to live normal lives to work, live, marry, and have families. They should be accepted by the entire community to procreate, or unicreate as may be the case, and viewed positively as all being creatures of God. God does not make junk.
We hope the mayor will publicly apologize for his offensive description of these unisex fish, and help stop the hate creep that such dialogue could engender. Today, uni-sexual fish. Tomorrow, dogs and cats that lick their own genitals. What next? The human LGBT community?
President Obama recently declared that LGBT couples have visitation rights for their partners in hospitals. A step forward. Now this. A step backwards. We demand equality and justice for all LGBT members, both human, animal, and fish, so they can achieve their full potential in life, whether it be to raise a family or be a nice sushi dish. Thank-you for attending this press conference. We will now take questions.
Any questions?
No?
We were that clear that you have no questions?
You look stunned. Yes, we were stunned too at the mayor's comments. Well then, great! Thank-you and good afternoon."
***
"WASHINGTON - More and more male fish in the Potomac River are exhibiting female traits, but the reasons for the growing number of intersex fish are not known.
The Potomac Conservancy says more than 80 percent of the river's male fish are producing eggs or exhibiting other female characteristics.
The Potomac River supplies much of the region's drinking water, and that has the group calling on Congress to solve the fish mystery."
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