The Mothership approached a desolate area of the desert, about fifty miles north of Phoenix, Arizona in the direction of the Grand Canyon, and just hovered there. Even though for some odd reason radar did not pick up the vehicle, visual sightings were rather hard not to make and cell phones, internet chat rooms, and the blogosphere were screaming the news around the world. An alien ship had finally arrived on Earth! No more speculation on whether or not UFOs were real. This sucker was as real as Ellen Degeneres being a judge on American Idol.
Besides crowds of onlookers and gawkers, the first officials on the scene were the Arizona State Police, who were both concerned about public safety and the overawing appearance of the strange craft. Did the aliens come in peace or was it a potential hostile presence? About ten state police cruisers had circled the area below where the space craft seemed to have parked about two hundred feet up in the air. After a few minutes though, a metallic cylinder about fifty feet across telescoped out of the bottom of the ship and gently landed on the ground below, making the whole thing look like a giant mushroom recently dug out of the ground. Though it was impossible to determine what propulsion system kept the ship aloft in the air, the massive vehicle was perfectly still on its thin stalk and impervious to the winds.
The state police cruisers approached the cylinder at ground level from the western side, taking advantage of the shade in the hot Arizona sun, and the troopers nervously eyed the activity, of which there was none after the dust settled. But presently, a doorway opened at the bottom of the cylinder, and out stepped two creatures that looked exactly like something out of the sci-fi movie, District 9. Wow, thought the State Police captain as he nervously eyed the creatures who stood about eight feet tall, those Hollywood guys had done a good job of guessing what aliens really were going to look like when they finally arrived.
They looked like giant humanoid bugs, thick scaly skin and a few small tentacles. The captain kept thinking they reminded him of a fat preying mantis. Were they dangerous? Would they attack? He just wasn't sure.
But as the creatures approached the vanguard of state police, suddenly a Sheriff's patrol car screeched into view and spun on the loose dirt stopping in-between the aliens and the State troopers. Out stepped a burly sheriff with a pot belly that kept the buttons taut as potential lethal weapons should they pop.
"So," said the sheriff, eyeing all parties, "what all have we got here?"
"Sheriff," the State Police captain cut in, "I'm in charge here. We appreciate you providing backup, but please don't interfere. Until federal authorities arrive, I have been appointed as the official representative to greet these alien creatures."
"Like hell! This is my county and I trump your jurisdiction. You got Highway 10, but that's ten miles south. You're in my area here, and uninvited I should say. Don't remember making any call for backup myself if I remember correctly and indeed I do. So back off, I'll take care of this."
"Greetings earthlings," the alien creatures addressed them as they came within earshot, using some kind of device that looked like a cellphone to translate their own clicking noises into English.
"Say, what have we got here?" the sheriff asked.
"Greetings earthling. We are from the planet Arcturus Epsilon in the star system your scientists have labeled M681. Our planet is very similar to yours, and supports life forms such as your own. We are the dominant species and have traveled over 30 light years to meet with another intelligent life form."
"So, you're not from around here?" the sheriff cut in before the State Police Captain could say anything.
"No, we're from the star system M681, it's a cluster of-"
"Can I see your driver's license or some other form of identification?"
The alien seemed startled. "Pardon us?"
"You got any ID on ya big fella?"
"ID? What is-" and the the two aliens conferred in whispers, looking at their device. "Oh, credentials. Yes, this is a letter of introduction from our leader to your leader. If you could take us to your leader-"
"Hold on just one sec. Lemme see them there credentials."
The alien handed the sheriff a small metallic tablet that looked like a cigarette case.
"What is this?" the sheriff asked, turning it over, looking puzzled as there was no writing or anything else discernible.
"That is a holographic communication device. An authorized earth leader will instantly see the pre-recorded message from our leader. You must not be-"
"I'm not what? I don't think so. I am very much the person in charge here, regardless of what this bozo next to me says. And unless you can produce a driver's license or a passport, or some other officially approved State identification card, I am taking you in under Arizona's new anti-immigration law, cause I'm declaring you an illegal alien."
"Illegal alien? How so are we illegal?" asked the alien.
"Unless you got a visa, a green card, or sumptin' else, you don't belong here and I got the right to take you to the border and expel y'all asses."
"Take us to what border?"
"Why... oh, you're not from Mexico are ya? Damn. Well then I'm taking y'all to the ICE detention center, I'll let the feds figure out what to do with y'all. Now come along."
The sheriff pointed to the patrol car and walked over and opened the back door. The creatures followed him and peered into the back seat.
"Go ahead, get in."
The creatures looked at each other, clicked a few noises that the translation device did not translate and then addressed the sheriff.
"We apologize but we cannot use your transportation device, as it is too confining. We could easily break a tentacle. If you use your vehicle, we will follow in ours."
The sheriff looked up in the sky at the Mothership. "Um, yeah, I guess there's more of y'all on there, so yeah, just follow me down to the state road and then we'll get on the highway and head toward Phoenix. But don't try any funny stuff."
The two aliens returned to their cylinder, entered the doorway and watched as the door snapped shut behind them. They began to rise upward toward the ship.
"Are we really going to follow him?"
"Negative, we have completed our mission here. We delivered the 200 Mexican humanoids as their leader requested, and we have the 50 bales of hemp plant as payment. We can head back to Arcturus Epsilon and have a very pleasant trip home."
"Agreed. That was funny how the dark skinned humanoids snuck out the back entrance while those earthling military types were pre-occupied with us. It was a good thing we first arrived south of the border of this political sub-division. These northern light skinned humanoids are not in the least friendly like the southern darker skinned ones are."
"Agreed. I offered to vaporize all of those, what do they call them, Gringos? for the dark skinned humanoids, but they declined. They said the light skinned ones had jobs they needed. But I think our translator is broken. It says a 'job' is work. How silly if that were true."
"Agreed. Let's initiate our return trajectory. I can't wait to light up."
"Agreed. But one nano second please. Hold on... hold on... there. I vaporised that rotund one. He was very unpleasant."
"Agreed."
***
PHOENIX -- The U.S. government may challenge Arizona's new immigration law, Attorney General Eric Holder said Tuesday as Arizona officials blamed the Feds for forcing the state into passing its own immigration enforcement mechanisms.
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