Oh My God

Inspired by:

"Barry Komisaruk studies the female orgasm. But not in the way most men do, between the sheets. His research is done in a laboratory.

The Rutgers neuroscientist analyzes brains in their most enthusiastic state, hoping to strengthen women’s orgasms and aid the climax-challenged.

“We want to find ways to increase pleasure in people’s lives,” he says.""

My Story

Lisa Steinem arrived at the Rutgers University clinic run by Dr. Bernard Komission, annoyed by the fact that she had to participate in this medical study of organisms, but they were offering $50 to participants, and right now she was so broke until her next paycheck she could definitely use the $50. Being on a scholarship was nice, but you had no spending money except that which your parents gave you, and her father had her on a rather strict budget after blowing her first semester allowance in the first month of school.

She did get a work/study job to augment her income, but it was a pittance. She had seen ads in the student newspaper for models and even exotic dancers. The wages offered certainly looked enticing, but if her pics got on the Internet, her father would kill her like one of those Middle Eastern honor killings. It was bad enough telling her mother and father she couldn't accept them as her friends on her Facebook page because of some fibbed technical glitch. The photos there were pretty bad. But imagine nude shots. She really needed the money, so one could imagine her desperation.

This was just fifty bucks, barely enough to support a one week Starbucks habit, but, it was something. She entered the office and walked up to the receptionist's desk.

"Hi, I'm here for the study."

"Oh, hi, great! You're the first person for the Phase 3 part of the program. Wow, this is exciting. Follow me." The receptionist led her down a corridor of oyster white sterile walls.

Lisa had no idea what a phase three organism was. She hoped that she wouldn't have to eat any gross squiggly worms like on Survivor or something. She followed reluctantly and hoped this would go quickly.

"Ok, now we need you to take off your clothes and put them in this plastic bag here and we'll lock them in this closet. Then you need to put on this green hospital gown and then you can lay down on the hospital bed there.

Lisa was reluctant, but she really needed the fifty dollars. God, she hoped they didn't put strange organisms all over her. The curtain was pulled around her and she began to disrobe. In these tight jeans she had gone sans underwear, but she figured no one would notice.

When she was finished and laying on the bed, the doctor arrived with a team of staffers. He had a clipboard in his hand that reminded Lisa of a mad scientist.

"Hello Lisa. So happy you could join us for this study. Now you filled out all of the paperwork online and signed the releases and everything, so we can get this to go quickly. So here's the thing Lisa, we've been working on a study on how to-"

"I'm just curious Doc, why did you ask all those questions about my sexual history? I mean I know I'm still a virgin and all and it's really only because my Father is a strict Calvinist and would kill me if I did anything. But I'm really not like that, or I-"

"Oh, that was just standard questions we ask of everyone. The answers don't affect this study any, we are going to measure your reactions and simply state that someone with your characteristics responds so and so to the electrically induced orgasm."

"Orgasm?"

"Yes. Orgasm. You seem surprised. Was something not clear?"

Lisa pursed her lips. Oh, this was embarrassing. "No, no, I knew it was an orgasm. How, um, how are you going to induce an orgasm?"

"Well Lisa, that's what this study and experiment is about. In the first phase of our study, we wanted to measure the electrical brain activity of an orgasm that our female volunteers produced manually on their own. In the second phase, we gave them low doses of Viagara, which increases blood flow to the genital regions, and again measured their brain activity during a self induced orgasm. In this study, Phase 3, we are going to use a low voltage electrical discharge device that will allow you to induce an electric impulse orgasm, and we'll wire you up with heart and EKG monitors to see how your body reacts. You read all this in the release forms, didn't you?"

"Of course," Lisa lied. She really needed more sleep too. And needed to read what the fuck she was signing.

"Ok, so my associates will attach the monitors to you, and then Nurse Lear will give you the device. It looks like a metallic cyllinder, which you can place under the robe and press against your genitals. We will increase the voltage and measure your body's reaction. Ok?"

"Um, sure. Can't wait. And I get fifty dollars for this?"

"Yes, I believe that is the compensation. We'll have an envelope for you at the end of the study."

"How long?"

"Oh, no more than 30 minutes tops. We go through several voltage levels, then you fill out a survey at the end, and we're done, and you can go. Nurse Lear?" he called.

"Ok, let's do it," Lisa shrugged. Orgasm, huh?

The woman she assumed was Nurse Lear came up to her with a small box. She was a pretty blonde wearing a white lab coat. After the monitor wires had been attached, she presented Lisa with what looked like a silver dildo from the box. Lisa looked at it apprehensively. She much preferred her own plastic pink one. But, what the hell.

Nurse Lear explained what to do with it, simply place it up again her clitoris, and hold it there lightly. They would send the voltage surges wirelessly and record her physiological reactions.

When everyone was ready, Nurse Lear placed a light blanket over Lisa to give her some privacy, and told her she could start.

Lisa couldn't remember, was she supposed to put it in? This was so awkward. Luckily she was a little moist, so it slid in easily partway.

"Okay team, let's start. Okay Lisa, we're going to try five different voltage levels. You just lay there and enjoy and we'll do all the work. Okay, proceed to Level 1."

"Um, Professor," one of the young technicians spoke up. "This dial is stuck. It's not moving."

Professor Komission stood up and walked over to the console. He twisted the knob as well but it didn't budge. "That's odd. It seems to be jamed." He and several of the technicians struggled to free it. "Hold on Lisa, some technical difficulties here."

Nurse Lear walked over to watch as well. "Here Professor, I think I can get it unstuck. My hairdryer has a temperature dial that gets stuck all the time. I'm an old pro at this." She put her fingers on it and gave it a sharp twist. The dial made a cracking noise and spun all the way around.

"JESUSCHRISTOHMYFUCKINGGODWHATTHEHELL-" Lisa screamed out at the top of her lungs jerking upright from her prone position. "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY YES YES YES YES!" she continued.

Everyone at the console struggled to turn the dial back but it was stuck tight. Finally, realization dawned on Professor Komission, and he screamed to Lisa, "Pull the probe away from yourself."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" she screamed. "NO WAY THIS IS SO... OH MY GOD OHHHHHHHH!"

Everyone continued to struggle with the dial and likewise were perplexed by Lisa. Dr. Komission noticed the measurements were off the charts.

"YES YES DO IT TO ME BABY YES I LOVE YOU OH MY GOD YES OH OH OH AWWWWWWW YES!" she screamed and finally dropped the silver cylinder.

Dr. Komission ran up to her with Nurse Lear. "Lisa, are you alright?"

"Oh my God, that was fantastic! That was unreal! Can we do it again?" Lisa beamed.

"Um, let's take a break. Larry, could you help me take Lisa to the break room and just have her sit down for a few minutes, get her a cup of coffee or something."

"Oh God, that was fantastic. I'll pay you fifty dollars if you let me do it again."

"Well, we'll talk about that."

Everyone was very concerned and accompanied Lisa to the break room as she waddled on shaky knees.

"So are you alright?" Dr. Komission asked.

Lisa just smiled. "Oh, I've never been better. I didn't know it could be so good. You should patent that device Doc, you could make millions."

"Well, we'll see. I think a little serendipity may have been at work here."

They sat Lisa down and she let her head fall back with the biggest dreamy smile on her face.

Suddenly, from the other room came screams, "JESUSCHRISTOHMYFUCKINGGODWHATTHEHELL-OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY YES YES YES YES!"

Dr. Komission looked around. "Where's Nurse Lear?"

***