Interesting News

Frank sat down on the park bench next to his old friend. "Hey Mort, did you see the paper today?"

"What?"

"I said, did you see the paper today? Some interesting news."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Well, seems like this condo complex in Baltimore is making all the dog owners submit DNA samples of their dogs so they can figure out who's not scooping the poop!"

"Hunh, ain't that some shit."

"And they say they're building a fast lane for pedestrians on the sidewalks of New York, so New Yorkers can get around all the slow moving, gawking tourists."

"Really? What was the score?"

"And did you see this guy in Michigan is showing his girlfriend pictures of when he served in Iraq, and suddenly up come photos of him molesting some two year old girl."

"Yeah. I like those two for one sales."

"And this German medical student gets mugged so he escapes and the muggers follow him into a Ninja training school. Ha ha! Big mistake."

"You don't say. Do you think he got a refund?"

"And North Korea says they will consider it an act of war if South Korea takes any reprisal for North Korea's act of war torpedoing that boat."

"How about that. Always wanted to visit North Dakota."

"And did you hear about the little second grade girl that told Michelle Obama that her mother doesn't have papers? How long do you think she's going to stay around?"

"I'm going to hang out here in the park until dinnertime."

"And then there's this article that says Viagra can cause hearing loss."

"No, I don't use floss. I have dentures."

"Damn Mort, you should go see a doctor and have that hearing of yours checked."

"Check? No, they now put your Social Security right into your bank account. It's called Direct Deposit."

"Whatever Mort."